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加勒比海地区妇女夺回权力:运用标签#LifeinLeggings说出遭受性暴力的真实故事

"Woman behind bars", from a series of anti-catcalling, pro-respect posters. Photo by flickr user Wendy, CC BY-NC 2.0.

「被监禁的女人」 图片来自一系列反街头调戏(anti-catcalling)、支持尊重的海报。图片来源:flickr 用户 Wendy, CC BY-NC 2.0

#lifeinleggings 这个标签强而有力、它正在脸书推特上被广为使用。这一标签为加勒比海地区的妇女分享其遭受性别暴力的经历提供了支持和空间。这个标签是由巴贝多(Barbados)国家的两位女性所创造,她们想要让大家知道,性骚扰是加勒比海地区文化的一部份这件事情,已经到了令人发指的程度,而现在这个标签已经在这一地区得到了广泛关注。

这些来自不同年龄层、族裔、和经济背景妇女们所分享的经验故事敲响了一记警钟——这些发文,从羞辱受害者(victim-shaming)、被迫对发生的事情闭口不言,到被恐吓威胁的事件、对爱慕的错误表达、针对弱势者猖獗的性虐待监护人们一贯大事化小小事化无的做法比比皆是。

Crystal Roslyn Mary Granado回忆她的儿时创伤

#LifeInLeggings He was asked to watch the kids while Mom went to the store. I was three. He told me to come sit on his knee. I said no. You smell. He made me sit on his knee. Pulled apart my baby legs and ripped my panties off and stuck his fat calloused fingers inside of my vagina. I cried. He said he would make my mother beat me. I was afraid. I hate you.

#LifeInLeggings 妈妈出门购物的时候叫他照顾我。我当时三岁。他叫我坐在他腿上。我说不要,你很臭。他还是强迫我坐在他腿上。把我小小的两条腿、分开把我的内裤扯掉,用他肥胖长茧的手指插进我的阴道里。我哭了。他说他会叫我妈妈揍我。我很害怕。我恨你。

她们还谈到了关于活在受虐阴影之下,以及终日恐惧受辱影响自身行为等等无法卸下的终身负担。

Cho Sundari她时时刻刻保持警觉:

#lifeinleggings Walking with my key in my hand, ready at all times to be used in self defence. Looking behind me at least 3 times before I reach my car. Checking the back seat before I open the door. Opening the door quickly, slamming myself on the seat. Shut the door and lock doors immediately. Sigh. Start ignition. Drive.

#lifeinleggings 走路的时候我手上握着钥匙,随时准备好了要拿来自我防御。在走到我车子之前至少回头三次检查是否有尾随着。确认我车内后座没有躲人我才打开车门。迅速开门坐进车里。立刻关门锁门。松一口气。发动引擎。开车。

有一位推特使用者在读完所有故事的过程中吃足苦头:

#LifeInLeggings 光只是阅读这些文章就感觉灵魂被摧毁。有好多次我真的不能再往下读,因为我真的忍受不了。 — Fleetwood Macklemore (@ConnorBlades) 2016年11月27日

很多人说了在他们非常年幼的时候受到的伤害,下手的通常是亲近的朋友或是家族成員。另外有些人提及了职场骚扰事件和相应的男性特权。

特立尼达(Trinidad)律师Justin Phelps指出这些网络媒体上涌现的故事已经不只是一个主题标签了,它们挑战了人们对这个社会文化逻辑做更深度的思考:

#LifeinLeggings is the story of women AND girl children btw. A large number of the stories are of childhood events. Add the stories of our male children. Add the stories of our dead children. Measure the country's level of civilization against that. Hold that up to the debates you hear in Parliament […] the disrespect and contempt meted out on top of that. Match it against ‘civil society’ who is about ‘country first’, the police service which features negatively in many of the stories, the parents who watch and stay silent, the parents who just stupid, the deviants, the pretenders. Maybe we can muster enough energy for something other than money and vanity to ‘riot’ after all. Nah, too risky.

#LifeinLeggings 这个标签名下的故事来自女人「也」来自女孩。这些真实故事里很大一部分是儿童时期所发生的事件。当然也有男孩的故事和死去孩子们的故事。从这些故事来看,就可以知道我们的国家有多不文明,再拿这些故事,去比较看看,那些在议会中[…]不尊重与鄙夷女性的辩论。拿这一切,去挑战那些主张「国家至上」的「文明社会」人士、那些在众多故事中形象负面的警察体系、那些只会袖手旁观并保持静默的愚蠢父母、那些变态、那些骗子。也许吧,也许最终我们能召集足够的力量,不是钱也不是虚荣,来办一场「示威抗议」。不,这太冒险了。

在这一标签下,这些故事相互交织在一起,描绘出加勒比海地区的强暴文化(rape culture)。一位社交媒体使用者,在Facebook上一个女性主义者群组「Womantra」发文,提供了如何处理这类情况的建议:

Be gross. Today a man in the maxi [a minivan-type taxi in Trinidad] had the audacity to tell me that my p*ussy must be fat […] I LOUDLY and NAIVELY explained that it is not indeed fat, I have my period and it is soooooo heavy that I have to layer my pads creating the illusion of a hefty p*ssy. “I doh want to hear bout dat!!!” He was disgusted
Again, I had to educate him, “thats what p*ssies do!!! Thats how it prepares us to have your babies!!!” […]
The maxi is extremely quiet. It starts with a giggle. Then the entire maxi is laughing at the man's discomfort. #LifeInLeggings
Be gross. Pick up space. Attack using any and all weapons in your arsenal: cussing, humour, disgustingness, anger, shyness, needing a friend, tears…. I the Feminist Fairy grant you the power….

你得要恶心一点。今天在maxi[特立尼达境内一种迷你巴士型的计程车]上一个男人厚颜无耻地跟我说想必我有个肥厚的阴部[…] 我“大声地、傻呼呼地”跟他解释,我的阴部其实不肥厚,我的月经来了而且流量超超超超级多,多到我得用好几层卫生棉,所以才会制造出肥胖阴部的假象啊。 “我才不想听这些!”那个男人觉得恶心。不过呢,我得教育他,“这就是女人阴部该做的事啊!这样才能给你生孩子嘛!!!”[…] 那台迷你巴士上整个超安静的。然后开始有一些笑声传出。接着整台迷你巴士上的人都开始嘲讽那个男人的尴尬。 #LifeInLeggings 你得要恶心一点、改善这个处境、用尽任何你有的武器发动攻击:咒骂、幽默感、搞恶心、生气、害羞、需要朋友、眼泪….作为“女性主义精灵”我给你这些力量….

大量女性网民发支持这些分享故事的勇敢女人们。这些证词倾泻而出,建立了一种姐妹相依的情感连结——太多女人能理解这种感受了,她们自己都经历过类似的事情。

Whitney Francois分享了一些痛苦的经验:

#LifeInLeggings
Having a female friend in primary school who tried to kiss on lips and touch your V because she loved you.
And thats how ‘love’ was shown in her home.
To everybody.
Mind you she was 5.

#LifeInLeggings 小学时我有一个朋友会试图亲你的嘴和摸你的阴部,因为她爱你。在她家,那就是“爱”的表现方式。各位,容我提醒你,她当时只有五岁。

#lifeinleggings Watching a friend trying to be strong after being called a sellout and a traitor and even threatened for ‘snitching’ on her bf after he raped her.
Who really betrayed whose trust?

#lifeinleggings 看着一个朋友试着坚强起來,她被称作一个叛徒、甚至受到威胁,因为她“跟别人告密”她被男友强暴的事情。到底是谁背叛了谁的信任?

Christine Sankar 分享了一个例子,这是大多数加勒比海女性都曾经历过的街头骚扰

Ignoring men when they're cat-calling and calling out to you as ‘Beautiful’ ‘Sexy’ ‘Family’, and as soon as you pass them, they further disrespect you by telling you that ‘You not that nice anyways’ or ‘One day someone would f*ck that stink attitude out of you’ with some of them even going to the extent of yanking on your shoulder or following you #lifeinleggings

别理会那些在街上叫嚣调戏、称你为“美女”、“性感宝贝”、“家人”的男人,你经过他们的时候,他们会更嚣张地蔑视你、告诉你“其实你根本不怎么样”或是“总有一天会有人操翻你”,有的甚至会得寸进尺拉你的肩膀或跟踪你。#lifeinleggings

Malaika Brooks-Smith-Lowe那种不适当的举动根本无法无天:

#lifeinleggings is having to tell a group of grown ass men to stop harassing me while I teach children in an outdoor yoga class.

#lifeinleggings 必须叫那群已经长大的王八蛋男人们,停止在我的户外孩童瑜伽教学时间骚扰我。

Antonya Pierre 同意

#Lifeinleggings. When ‘Good morning beautiful’ is no longer a pleasant greeting or compliment because it is usually the preamble for some form of harassment.

#Lifeinleggings. “美女早上好”已不再是一种令人开心的招呼或是褒奖,因为那通常就是某种骚扰开始前的哨声。

大部分的网民都很赞赏这个主题标签的创造者,认为“该是时候打破这个(不敢讨论性暴力问题的)禁忌了”。不过一名年轻女性好奇为何这个活动被赋予了性别内涵——因为在标签中的“leggings”是指女性穿的打底裤,她认为男性一样也会是性暴力受害者。

随着这个主题标签的传播,也有一些人呼吁男性为此事表达支持。很多男性这么做了——但其他男性试图大事化小小事化无,并淡化这些事件。他们试图让这些妇女们的证词失。这些意见遭到快速又强烈的反弹,特别是当男人们用女人的穿着打扮合理化性暴力。

Denica Shute 这边讲得很清楚

‘Women are deserving of respect regardless of what we wear and we refuse to subscribe to the notion that men simply cannot help themselves to sexually harass or abuse a woman because of what she is wearing.’
#lifeinleggings

不管我们穿什么,女人都值得被尊重,我们不会同意“男人天性就是会因为女人的穿着而管不了自己去性骚扰或虐待女人”的这种论点。#lifeinleggings

Raeesa Francis-Ochoa 补充说明:

Men who have an issue with the hashtag #LifeInLeggings are the reason why this hashtag exists.
In 2016, why is it still not okay for a woman to vent about the abuse at experienced from childhood to adulthood which still affect her daily and she may never be fully healed?
Additionally, why are women also finding issues with the hashtag? Just because you don't have an experience or feel like sharing your own, doesn't mean you can be Petty Patty and stop others from participating in the trend.

这个主题标签#LifeInLeggings之所以存在,就是因为那些现在对这个主题标签有意见的男人们。现在是公元2016年了,为什么女人不应该吐露这些经验,这些从小到大都遇过的、至今仍深受其影响的受害经验?这些伤口甚至可能永远不会复原!

的确,大部分人都同意,加勒比海地区男孩们社会化过程中需具备的男子气概(machismo),是这个强暴文化问题的一环。

一个特立尼达国家的男性用#lifeinpants这个主题标签发文写下他对#lifeinleggings这个标签的感想,「将全部的男性卷入一场社会暴行里」,这下危机态势升高了。他的发文后来被移除。女人们的反击充满了震惊与厌恶。

Rhoda Bharath 回应

#LifeInLeggings: When from hairless babies to balding grannies get raped, but you feel attacked by a hashtag.

#LifeInLeggings: 从没头发的小婴儿到没头发的老奶奶都遭受过性侵害,而你卻觉得你被一个主题标签攻击。

Carima Nemai 發文

#lifeinleggings made it as easy and common to demonize men as it has been easy and common over the years to objectify and sexually assault women. #whenthetablesareturned yes feel uncomfortable, and feel attacked and feel responsible even if you aren't, most importantly FEEL!
Obviously not every man is guilty and not every woman would have been a victim, but the rape culture is bigger than every one of us! See and feel that!

#lifeinleggings 这个主题标签让妖魔化男性变得跟过去多少年来,物化女性、性攻击女性一样又简单又日常。 #whenthetablesareturned 风水轮流转,去感受到不舒服吧!去感受到这种敌意吧!去负起责任,即使你并不需要!最重要的是,“去!感!受!”很明显不是每个男人都有罪,也不是每个女人都是受害者,但是这个强暴文化比我们任何一个人的遭遇都还要严重!去看!去感受!

Dion Boucaud 表示

You cannot decry a legitimate movement by making the issue somehow about yourself and then, when you are called on your bullshit, berate and chastise everyone […] who disagrees with you. Then today you're crying oppression, stating that you're attacked by perceived feminist because they don't agree with your useless opinion. All that makes you is a special kind of stupid.

你不能谴责一个合法的运动,把这个议题弄的好像跟你自己有关,然后你那些瞎话被拿出来驳斥,你就训斥、咒骂所有反对你的人。然后今天你在那边说你被压迫,说你被觉醒的女性主义者攻击,就因为她们不同意你那没用的观点。你今天会这样都是因为愚蠢。

摄影师Mark Lyndersay 也說

The #lifeinleggings hashtag is a challenge for men. Some to confront the horror of these stories, others to know their place and to understand that these are women's stories to tell, whatever their tone and sentiment. […]
These stories are about a line ignored, crossed and trampled on.
If you are a man, read them without making it about you.

#lifeinleggings 主题标签对男人来说是个挑战。有些人去面对这些故事里的现状,有些去明白他们的立场、去理解这就是女人要说出来的真实故事,不管语气怎样、情绪怎样。这些故事的主角是一系列被遗忘的、被忽略、被践踏的人们。如果你是男人,去读这些故事,然后别想把这些故事变得好像是你的故事。

这个主题标签帮助启动了一个早就应该被讨论的地方对话,而从这些故事中我们已经得到一些重要的教训——这个地区性的强暴文化已被传承了数个世代;受害者的沉默只会让加害者更有力量;最重要的是,教育立法可以让更多女孩和女人能够免于性暴力的创伤。

校对:Feier

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